A Tradition Reconsidered

In Maryland, we have a barbaric and disgusting custom. Every year, families and friends gather to participate in a social ritual called a crab feast. Like many others who have long engaged in this custom, I never found this social ritual particularly unusual until I saw it from an outsider’s prospective. To prove my authenticity as a Maryland native, I was required to participate in this rite of passage.

The process begins with a bushel of live crabs that are bought scuttling and scratching inside of a bucket. Then the crabs are placed into a pot with Old Bay seasoning and cooked alive. Now that the suckers are dead, they are ready to be eaten. Since the eating part is the messiest, the only logical place setting is newspaper. The newspaper makes it easy to dispose of their remains. So, the crabs are thrown onto a newspaper covered table where hungry humans are waiting. Those that are uninitiated to this ritual will become anxious at the lack of proper utensils, as the only instruments that seem readily available are a hammer and a table knife. No matter, the diners eagerly grab the hammers and begin pounding at the hard shells and digging with the knife into hard to reach places to reach the meat. All the more disconcerting is the fact that all of this effort yields little meat, which leads you to believe that the ritual is performed for utter enjoyment.

Which is absolutely true. Crab feasts are more an excuse to socialize while enjoying the sweet taste of crab than an actual feast. Kind of like a knitting circle, only with crustaceans instead of yarn and needles. And although crab feasts are typically associated with summer, the best time of year for crabs is the early fall (right now in fact), when the crabs are largest.

-Alison